Nutcracker Sweet

During the holiday season of the mid nineties, my Mother began to bring home something special from the grocery store. Nutcracker Sweet tea. I have always been one for tea and other warm drinks but this particular tea was special. It smelled of gentle spices, vanilla, carmel and fairie dust. The box was decorated with magical scenes from the endearing story. This was truly a special tea.

But I was not allowed to have any. You see, Nutcracker Sweet had caffeine as one of the ingredients. So as a young child I would take the box and dream about the day I would be able to taste the tea that so enchanted me.

A year or so later I captured the scent of this wonderful mystery by abducting a single bag and hiding it in a small tin I kept in my room. Now I could visit this holiday treat whenever I remembered to check the tin. The scent kept for years and brought a smile to my face until the year I was declared old enough to try the tea for myself.

I can still remember the anticipation and excitement of that first time I took a sip of that special tea. After years of memorizing the scent and waiting to discover the taste, it was now time. It was not like the taste of coffee, who's alluring smell opposes the strong taste. Tasting Nutcracker Sweet was different. The taste of the tea equaled the quality of the aroma. It was worth it. My parents, who had withheld the treat for years, came through on their promise and it was a joy.

I did not despise the years of waiting. Those years built a story, created a memory and developed a certain level of respect.

And now, fifteen years later, I get to enjoy this holiday treat, as one enjoys an old friend's company.

I recalled this memory tonight as the teapot sung and I dropped the bag of Nutcracker Sweet in my mug. It's funny how it is so easy to learn from one experience and so difficult to apply the same lesson to other areas of our lives. How many times do I pine away for something I cannot have? How many times do I resent God's direction or diversion from things that I think will satisfy me now? How many times do I choose to steal a taste of things meant to be savored at a later time? Why is it so hard to simply enjoy the moment and cherish the opportunities set before us, knowing a great story is lived moment by moment?

What is it that you are enchanted with? Is it a career? A relationship? A home? A degree? A family? Independence? Respect? Power? Money? Fame?

Are there areas of your life or your story that you are delighted to faithfully watch unfold? Do you wait with eager anticipation and an open heart or do you scheme a way to get it now?

What is something that you have built a story with? What is your Nutcracker Sweet?

Ardently,

Anna

Focus

In the chaos, in confusion

I know You're sovereign still

In the moment, of my weakness

You give me grace to do Your will

When things seem confusing and overwhelming it is because our focus has shifted away from the Maker of the universe and onto our own selves. It's when we get caught up in our pettiness and our trivial matters that we lose sight of the power and majesty of the Most High. When we once again seek the One who holds eternity in His hand we find the deepest peace.

So when You call I won't delay

This my song through all my days

There is no one else for me

None but Jesus

Crucified to set me free

Now I live to bring Him praise

All my delight is in You Lord

All of my hope, all of my strength

All my delight is in You Lord, forever more

Holding Beautiful

There's an old song by Third Day that always resonated with me. The song says -

And I want to love You

Love You more than life itself

And I want to hold You

Even though You can't be held

Because You're so much more

Than everything I've ever known

Anything, anything

I'd give anything

I would give anything to hold You

What is it about beauty that inclines us as humans to touch it, to hold it, to keep it? Why must we always posses the object of our attention?

This idea struck me the other day as I discovered a family of baby bunnies under a bush in our yard. With a shriek of glee, I ran over to try and catch one. I spent a good five minutes trying to chase and hold one of those poor baby bunnies. They were so beautiful and they looked so soft. However, as I crawled along the bush line trying to find them, I remembered something my Dad had told me years ago, "if you touch the baby rabbits or the baby birds that you find on the ground, your scent will scare away the mother and they will die of starvation". My desire to hold that which I admired might actually inflict harm on that which I loved.

Similarly, today I was outside when a beautiful butterfly flew past my head. Without thinking I followed it with my hands cupped, ready to catch it. When it was almost in reach I remembered that holding a butterfly would rub off the scales from it's wings and cripple it.

In contrast, I began to think about the beauty of God. Throughout the scriptures there are stories of zealous people who reached out to touch the Beauty of God. The beauty and glory of the Most High was so overwhelming that they died right then and there. How gracious of the Lord to present Himself to us as Invisible.

And then there are the times in the Bible when God gives us a glimpse of His Splendor. Exodus 33 gives the story of the boldness of Moses and the mercy of God -

¹⁸ Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."

¹⁹ And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. ²⁰ But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live."

²¹ Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. ²²When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. ²³ Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

How fantastic is that? God showed Moses Himself but loved him enough not to show His face. Again in Isaiah 6 we read another encounter with the Beauty of the Lord -

¹ In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple.² Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. ³ And they were calling to one another:
"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."

⁴ At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

⁵ "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

The Lord is gracious enough to not show us His great and awesome beauty. For we would want to hold it, to reach out and capture the beauty. In the same way, God, in His extravagant grace, lets us live our lives here on earth without direct contact to Him. If He were to, He might crush us. We are too fragile on this earth.

This kind of tension thrills me. To see so much beauty all around me and not be able to grasp it. To sit and watch the stars but not reach them. To admire a brightly colored bird in flight but not be able to catch it. To enjoy great friends but not be able to hold on to them forever. I look forward to the day when I can hold on to Beauty forever.

Sincerely,

Anna Elizabeth

Lessons from the Window Washer - Mating Eagles

Every so often the Window Washer guy (we'll call him Mr. Washer) comes to the store and washes the windows. Today was window washing day.

When Mr. Washer is done he comes in the store to collect his money, and while he writes out the receipt, he tells me about the book he and his wife are writing. Mr. & Mrs. Washer have been married for about 9 years and are very active in their church. They have a heart to teach other young people about God's love and the ins and outs of marriage.

Today Mr. Washer was telling me more of how he and his wife would approach the topic of marriage in many different ways in their book, giving examples of how God created things to be, how animals raise families and where our society is struggling. Today's lesson came from the eagle.

Eagles are fascinating birds. When a female eagle is ready to pick her mate, she will fly to great heights carrying a stone. She drops the stone mid-air, and the first male eagle to catch the stone before it hits the ground is the one she will choose to mate with for life. She does this because, sometimes, a female eagle will drop an egg while she is flying. The male has to be attentive and responsive enough to catch the egg safely before it hits the ground. How amazing is that?

So what can we learn from the eagle?

Girls, surround yourself with good, strong men who will protect you. Test those men and make sure you only commit yourself to someone who will be with you in the long run, in thick and thin and who is prepared for the future.

Guys, be ready to catch the stone when she drops it. Don't be afraid to step up. Give her room to fly but be near enough to catch her if she falls.

[Lessons from the Window Washer]

[Recorded & expanded by Anna Jefferis]

Half

I am my favorite subject.

The other day I was thinking about me. And I thought about who I am and why I'm here. I was thinking of all the ways I've failed and all the things I should have done.

And then I remembered Where Half of Me Ends.

And I realized that I have been living as a Half.

I have not been waiting where half of me ends. I have been trying to live with only my left side.

And that's when I looked and found God waiting for me where half of me ends.

And he said he loves me.

W[here]H[alf]O[f] M[e]E[nds]?

[1 corinthians 15:10] By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been in vain.

New Year

I'm not one for predictable holiday posts. However, last year I posted my resolutions for the year on my blog and one of my co-workers actually read it and kept me accountable for at least part of the year in some regards. This is my attempt to hold myself accountable to take the initiative and make some changes.

In no particular order -

Continue to learn to play piano

Read the rest of the Bible

Grow my hair out [done]

Lead Masquerade well [done]

Join a co-ed small group [done]

Save for down payment on a new car [done]

Graduate college in March 2011

Learn to cook more

And above all I hope to live out Philippians 1:20 -

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.

Here goes! Welcome, 2010!