A bigger love than me

I need to preface what I am about to say with this-

Tuesday I took an 11pm bus to Chicago. I got there at 6am, got fingerprinted (again) and applied for my visa, was told it would take a while, made friends with a cab driver and was on another bus back to Columbus by 11am. That whole day was ridiculously amazing and one miracle after another. 

Today at about 5 or 6 pm (everything's kinda a blur right now...) I got a call from the visa agency. My visa went though and is done! They are overnighting it and I will have it by tomorrow!

Can you believe it?!? I'm not sure I can. Ha! Wow. 

Ok so, let me just recap.

About a month ago the most exciting thing in my life was that I taught in my women's group for the first time. I taught on John chapter 20 and it was sweet. That week I signed up for leadership training and was pumped to be more of a leader in the group. That rocked my world and God got so much bigger. His plan for me started to unfold and I felt a peace I never had. I also got a sense that the future was going to be big and I might have to make some sacrifices to do what God had for me.

A week later I found out Tracy wanted to start another women's group. The Lord spoke to both of us and we decided to lead the group together. You have no idea how much this blew my mind. I was so totally excited and honored and thrilled. God became bold to me. He was teaching me to be bold, but he was doing it by example. I began to realize that this was so much bigger than I imagined. This was not something I was going to do, this was something I was going to have to run to stay in step with. I was terrified and I loved it.

One week after that (about 2 1/2 weeks ago) I got a message from Rachel asking me if I could go in her place to England to nanny for a dutch family she knew. My initial reaction (as was my reaction to every event leading up to this) was, "oh no way. That is WAY too awesome. There is no way God wants that for ME." That same day (or was it the next) I had talked to Edward and Jet via international phone and had made plans for me to come to England to nanny! That week things fell into place so fast it was surreal. 

Ok, come back to the now.

Let me see if I can verbalize this... God's love is so much bigger than just me. And I mean that in every sense. God loves more that I ever could. God loves me more that I understand. And most of all, God's love SURPASSES me in a majestic way. 

God has been planning all this for literally ever. Every bit of my life has been preparation for this moment, for the now. And he loves me so much. So much. 

I was just told by a friend that I do not have to worry about myself or my family because "you are in the palm of God's hand, and that is the safest place you can be". Let that sink in for a moment. How big is God? How wide is his love? How deep? What are his limits? Can he sleep? Does he have to wait? Does he obey bureaucracy? 

And see, this is where it sinks in even deeper. God's love is so much bigger than me. God's love is overflowing for Edward and Jet and baby Daan. This little glimpse of eternity, this moment in time, God cares enough to move mountains to get me to England. Why? I don't know completely yet, but I do know that God cares so much about Daan that he wants me to help take care of him. God cares so much for Edward and Jet that he wants them to be able to focus these next three months and soak up knowledge of Himself. God cares so much for my sister that he has been preparing and growing her in these past few months to really thrive and express herself. God cares so much for my Mom that he is providing for her daughters and bestowing a new peace. 

God's love is so much bigger. 

I found this Psalm last week and it felt like a personal blessing.

Psalm 138

Of David.

 ¹ I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart; 
       before the "gods" I will sing your praise.

 ² I will bow down toward your holy temple 
       and will praise your name 
       for your love and your faithfulness, 
       for you have exalted above all things 
       your name and your word.

 ³ When I called, you answered me; 
       you made me bold and stouthearted.

 ⁴ May all the kings of the earth praise you, O LORD, 
       when they hear the words of your mouth.

 ⁵ May they sing of the ways of the LORD, 
       for the glory of the LORD is great.

 ⁶ Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly, 
       but the proud he knows from afar.

 ⁷ Though I walk in the midst of trouble, 
       you preserve my life; 
       you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, 
       with your right hand you save me.

 ⁸ The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; 
       your love, O LORD, endures forever— 
       do not abandon the works of your hands.

---

Question of the week: Is your 'God' good?

Boldness

"Whatever situation you are in, remember, God always knows something you don't"

What does boldness mean to you?

Boldness is talking to a God you can't see.

Boldness is praying for someone other than yourself.

Boldness is listening for whispers from Jesus.

Boldness is understanding when He whispers.

Boldness is hearing a request from God.

Boldness is following through.

Boldness is speaking.

Boldness is conversation.

Boldness is making a fool of yourself.

Boldness is speaking the name of Jesus. (Out loud)

Boldness is telling people God cares for them. 

Boldness is pushing through fear.

Boldness is saying yes.

Boldness is saying no.

Boldness is being open to change.

Boldness is being ready.

Boldness is understanding.

Boldness is seeing.

Boldness is doing.

Boldness is love.

Boldness is passion.

But most of all, boldness is simply being in the presence of Jesus.

 

"This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." -Hebrews 4:15-16 (New Living Translation)

I especially like the way the New International Reader's Version puts it:

"We have a High Priest who can feel it when we are weak and hurting. We have a High Priest who has been tempted in every way, just as we are. But he did not sin. So let us boldly approach the throne of grace. Then we will receive mercy. We will find grace to help us when we need it." 

The biggest step we can take. The boldest thing we can do, is to simply approach the throne of grace. 

And when we become overwhelmed with fear or anxiety or anything that would hinder us from Him, remember, God is bolder than you can ever imagine. Jesus made God accessible to us so that we can come to Him and receive the gifts He has to give us. 

I started this week out thinking that my life would continue on the way it was. I thought the most challenging thing God had for me at the moment was to learn to be more bold. I never thought God would choose to show me just how bold HE can be. 

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." - Hebrews 11:8