Friday, December 18, 2009
Hide and Seek
Monday, November 30, 2009
We are the seed and will soon be the flower
42 So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; 43 it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; 44 it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.
If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45 So it is written: "The first Adam became a living being" f]" style="line-height: 0.5em; ">[f]; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. 46 The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. 47 The first man was of the dust of the earth; the second man is of heaven. 48 As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the heavenly man, so also are those who are of heaven. 49 And just as we have borne the image of the earthly man, so shall we g]" style="line-height: 0.5em; ">[g] bear the image of the heavenly man.
3Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4In him was life, and that life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understooda]" style="line-height: 0.5em; ">[a] it. - John 1:1-5"
Anyway, yeah that was a really fun and exciting thought process for me. *smile*
What do you think Heaven will be like? What does a soul look like to you? How do you feel about being a seed?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Have you ever noticed?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Update from England and South Africa
Dear Friends and Family,
This is my account of my time with YWAM. I cannot even begin to describe how much Jesus did in my life over these 4 1/2 months. I am not who I was when I left. I struggled, thrived, rejoiced, learned, led, followed, grew, loved, met, left, and arrived at new freedom.
I cannot begin to thank those of you who supported me in both financial support and in prayer. Without your help, none of this would have been possible. You forever have my gratitude.
I have a selection of photos of the highlights of my trip in an album here –
http://s750.photobucket.com/albums/xx147/aejefferis/Highlights%20April-August%202009/
It has taken me much longer than I expected to get all of this on paper. My first attempt was in much greater detail - as I would like to tell it. Maybe one day I will recount my journey in greater detail (maybe even in book form?), but for now, I hope you enjoy this outline of my time overseas. J
Before I begin with my time away, let me share with you this journal entry that I wrote right before I left –
April 16, 2009
I need to preface what I am about to say with this-
Tuesday I took an 11pm bus to Chicago. I got there at 6am, got fingerprinted (again) and applied for my visa, was told it would take a while, made friends with a cab driver and was on another bus back to Columbus by 11am. That whole day was ridiculously amazing and one miracle after another.
Today at about 5 or 6 pm (everything's kinda a blur right now...) I got a call from the visa agency. My visa went though and is done! They are overnighting it and I will have it by tomorrow!
Can you believe it?!? I'm not sure I can. Ha! Wow.
Ok so, let me just recap.
About a month ago the most exciting thing in my life was that I taught in my women's group for the first time. I taught on John chapter 20 and it was sweet. That week I signed up for leadership training and was pumped to be more of a leader in the group. That rocked my world and God got so much bigger. His plan for me started to unfold and I felt a peace I never had. I also got a sense that the future was going to be big and I might have to make some sacrifices to do what God had for me.
A week later I found out Tracy wanted to start another women's group. The Lord spoke to both of us and we decided to lead the group together. You have no idea how much this blew my mind. I was so totally excited and honored and thrilled. God became bold to me. He was teaching me to be bold, but he was doing it by example. I began to realize that this was so much bigger than I imagined. This was not something I was going to do, this was something I was going to have to run to stay in step with. I was terrified and I loved it.
One week after that (about 2 1/2 weeks ago) I got a message from Rachel asking me if I could go in her place to England to nanny for a Dutch family she knew. My initial reaction (as was my reaction to every event leading up to this) was, "oh no way. That is WAY too awesome. There is no way God wants that for ME." That same day (or was it the next) I had talked to Edward and Jet via international phone and had made plans for me to come to England to nanny! That week things fell into place so fast it was surreal.
Ok, come back to the now.
Let me see if I can verbalize this... God's love is so much bigger than just me. And I mean that in every sense. God loves more that I ever could. God loves me more that I understand. And most of all, God's love SURPASSES me in a majestic way.
God has been planning all this for literally ever. Every bit of my life has been preparation for this moment, for the now. And he loves me so much. So much.
I was just told by a friend that I do not have to worry about my family or myself because "you are in the palm of God's hand, and that is the safest place you can be". Let that sink in for a moment. How big is God? How wide is his love? How deep? What are his limits? Can he sleep? Does he have to wait? Does he obey bureaucracy?
And see, this is where it sinks in even deeper. God's love is so much bigger than me. God's love is overflowing for Edward and Jet and baby Daan. This little glimpse of eternity, this moment in time, God cares enough to move mountains to get me to England. Why? I don't know completely yet, but I do know that God cares so much about Daan that He wants me to help take care of him. God cares so much for Edward and Jet that he wants them to be able to focus these next three months and soak up knowledge of Himself. God cares so much for my sister that he has been preparing and growing her in these past few months to really thrive and express herself. God cares so much for my Mom that he is providing for her daughters and bestowing a new peace.
God's love is so much bigger.
I found this Psalm last week and it felt like a personal blessing.
Psalm 138
Of David.
1 I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
before the "gods" I will sing your praise.
2 I will bow down toward your holy temple
and will praise your name
for your love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.
3 When I called, you answered me;
you made me bold and stouthearted.
4 May all the kings of the earth praise you, O LORD,
when they hear the words of your mouth.
5 May they sing of the ways of the LORD,
for the glory of the LORD is great.
6 Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly,
but the proud he knows from afar.
7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes,
with your right hand you save me.
8 The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.
***
I arrived in England on April 21, midday, after 2 ½ weeks of preparation. I managed to get my Visa in 48 hours, which was nothing less than a miracle. Edward and Jet, the Dutch couple who’s son, Daan, I watched, met me at the bus station. Everyone at The Kings Lodge, the Youth With A Mission (YWAM) base, had been praying for me that I would make it over safe and in good time.
Many, many people from many nations greeted me at the base. While Edward and Jet gave me a tour of the base we ran into Maggie, a Welsh woman, who took me by the shoulders and said, “Wow! Let me look at you! You are an answer to prayer! I am looking at a miracle!” What a way to begin a journey. I was truly humbled and amazed.
My days at the YWAM base in England looked like this –
- 6am – Wake up
- 7am – Breakfast in the dining hall
- 8am – Depending on the day I would either start my day with Daan or participate in the class devotional/worship time and then watch the baby
- 9am – Mondays and Tuesdays were Base Worship and Base Intercession, respectively. This was the time when the whole YWAM base (about 150 people) gathered to worship and pray. I lead worship for the base three times. It was a great experience.
- 11am – Base coffee/tea break. Everyday there was a midday break for coffee, tea and on Thursdays they celebrated the birthdays that happened that week with homemade cake. J
- 1pm – Lunch in the dining hall. Typically I would be done watching Daan after Lunch.
- 2pm – A few days a week I watched Daan from 2-3
- 4pm – Almost every day I took a walk to town. My favorite place was the post office, a 20-minute walk from the base.
- 6pm – Dinner in the dining hall. A great opportunity for fellowship.
- 7:30 - Some days there were evening lectures. Since Daan was asleep at this time, I was able to join in on the lectures. Other nights there were movies or games in the evenings. (Rob from the DTS showed the movie “Walking Across Egypt” which was filmed at his church. He is in the choir next to actor Jonathan Taylor Thomas. J )
- 11pm – With the 5 hour time difference between The Kings Lodge and home, this was the best time to Skype with friends and family back home.
My 10 weeks at the Kings Lodge were incredible. Daan was the most wonderful baby to watch. We played hide and seek, took walks, played in the toy room, had snacks, read stories, played with blocks and toy cars, looked out the windows, took pictures and danced to music. For the 4 ½ months that I knew baby Daan, he got over 6 teeth, learned to walk and learned a few new words. What a joy to experience. J
When I wasn’t watching Daan, I was exploring the town, making international friends, writing letters, or playing guitar. Daan’s parents, Edward and Jet, were students at the YWAM base in the DTS class – Discipleship Training School. There were many others in the class. Rob from Kentucky, USA, John from South Korea, Britta from Germany, Cindy from Belgium, Ligia from Brazil, Jennifer from the USA, Suzanne from the South of England and Joanna from Sherwood Forest in England. The leaders of the class were Justin from England, Siew Yuen from Malaysia, Okja from South Korea and Anna from Washington State in the USA. I so enjoyed being part of this group.
Most of the students in the DTS were in their thirties, except for Joanna. Joanna is a bubbly 20 year old. We spent many evenings taking moonlight walks through the field whilst giggling and drinking tea. Joanna was also with me when I got my nose pierced. It was such a blessing to have a friend my age to talk with during this time. J
There were a few other schools going on at the base as well. The School of Biblical Studies (SBS) had about 20 students who read through the entire bible inductively 3 times in 9 months. The students were mostly in their early 20s so I found great fellowship with this group. The other school, the Bible Core Course (BCC) had about 10 students. They studied only the major books of the bible in the same way that the SBS studied the whole bible.
One of the things that I was able to do on the weekends was dance. I started a swing dance club at the Kings Lodge with some of the students and staff. We had up to 15 people dance with us for a few weeks. J
I had the opportunity to travel to London with the DTS on one of their long weekends. We stayed at a Korean Hostel in the city and explored the entire city in 3 days. We walked all over for over 10 hours a day and visited such sites as London Tower, the Eye, Tate Modern, the Tube, Buckingham Palace, among other places. We visited Hillsong Church London on Sunday and had an authentic Korean meal prepared for us by our hosts.
On the other long weekend, Ligia and I took a train to Stratford-Upon-Avon. We spent the day there and had a grand time touring Shakespeare’s town. One day I would like to go back to London and see a play at the Globe. J
Spiritually, I grew tremendously in England. Here is a journal entry from when I arrived.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
On April 20 I got on a plane headed for the UK. One month later I am amazed at what God has done. One month later, this is home.
When I came here my world was turned upside down. I realized that I did not know who I was or what I existed for. I questioned everything. I questioned who God was and even if this was all a big joke. After many weeks of struggling, I am new.
Change. Desperation. Struggle. Loss. Fear. Honesty. These things are the foundations of growth. I truly believe that you cannot experience change worth keeping if you do not experience these things. They are necessary to invoke the questions that form us.
The moment I admit my weakness, the instant that I am honest about my fears is exactly when maturity comes. I don't know exactly when it happened, but I have found my place of weakness. A place where I can come before God and say "I can't do this on my own! I am afraid, I know I will fail. Help me."
So often we push our fears away. We think that if we keep them an arms length away we will spare ourselves the pain. But, in truth, the closer our fears are, the more we admit we have them, the faster they dissolve. Now that doesn't mean my fears will disappear - on the contrary, I may experience them more now that I am aware - but it does mean that I have found the resource to extinguish them.
I give you peace; the kind of peace that I can only give. It isn't like the peace that this world can give. So don't be worried or afraid. Jesus in John 14:27
The other day in Base worship (everyone at The Kings Lodge) the leader had everyone write a psalm.
A Psalm
of Anna
May 18, 2009
I have not love, I have not peace
God IS love, God is peace
Fear surrounds me, accusations on all sides
My heart is eaten away by the enemy of my soul
Temptation comes and I am devoured
But the Lord comes to my rescue
Like a mighty warrior He shuts the mouths of my attackers
I have not the power, nor righteousness, nor the strength of will
But my God reigns!
The Lord God Almighty has rescued and redeemed!
I am covered by His right arm. He is my shield
Where I end, He begins
I have nothing but my God
Praise the Lord!
He has forgiven, the Lord has redeemed
Sing a new song to the Mighty Savior
His love endures forever
Amen
God did much in my heart that month and I found new freedom from my fears. Now I was functioning with all that I was. I was walking in my gifting in a greater way and was thriving.
***
On June 24th, after 10 weeks in England, the team and I left for South Africa. The second part of my journey began.
The flight was amazing. I have never flown on a bigger, more beautiful plane. There were little lights on the ceiling that made it look like night. J
We arrived in South Africa at about 7pm at night on a Thursday after over 20 hours of travel. It was already dark and felt like midnight. We had been told that it would be winter in South Africa but that it wouldn’t be too cold. What we weren’t told was that after the sun went down it was freezing.
The van pulled into the YWAM base and over many potholes and our luggage was dropped off at the base of a very steep staircase. We were told our rooms were at the top of the steps and that we would have the use of a little meeting room in another building.
That first night was hard and very desolate. Cold, dark, tired, sore, alone. That is how we entered South Africa. After dumping our stuff in our rooms we were ushered into that small meeting room in the other building for some pizza and to meet two of our Afrikaans partners.
The room was only slightly warmer that the outdoors, but it was light in there and there was warm food and tea. We gathered, prayed, and met Redgy and Gerard, the first of the African volunteers we would work with for our time here. We were invited to watch the Football game that was on tv in the other room but most of us just went to bed. That was the first day.
The next day was much brighter and full of promise. We awoke for breakfast at 7 in out meeting room, had the morning to unpack and explore the base, and after lunch we met the rest of our African counterparts. What a joy to meet these friends! I had been so worried about how it would go to work with these Africans, but we all just clicked right away! I spent the rest of the afternoon, that day, talking with Rachel. Rachel completed the worship team that included Britta from Germany and myself.
The first week we stayed at the YWAM base. All the girls were in one room and all the boys were in another. We had much fun in the girl’s rooms and only had one of the bunk beds collapse. Thank goodness no one was under it at the time of the collapse. J
Our team included all of the DTS students plus the “Mega Outreach” volunteers, which included myself, Rhian, Jem, Chris and Beki, all from the UK. Then there was the African team. They were – Erena, Redgy, Gerard, Michelle, Charlie, Vivian, William, Geraldo, Atlan, Clinton and Pastor Success. We also teamed with another local DTS who focused on the performing arts. They were – Felix, Fenny, Lieze, and Yolanda. Rhian, Jem, Chris, Beki, William, Geraldo, Atlan, Clinton and Fenny were all around the age of 20 and we had many fun times together. One of our favorite pastimes, when we had any free time, was to read the Bible out loud and walk to the mall.
We spent 7 weeks in South Africa. Our time looked like this –
Week One – Stayed at YWAM base in Worcester. Helped with the local Methodist Church Holiday Club (the equivalent of a Vacation Bible School for kids ages 5-14). The church originally expected 150 kids. They had about 10 volunteers and we were about 30 ourselves. 260 kids turned up and our team ended up all but running the event. We had one of our English volunteers and one of our Afrikaans volunteers in each group with about 20 kids. It was an amazing time to learn, be challenged and grow. The kids understood English but only a few of them spoke it. I felt helpless the first day. The Holiday club ended up being one of the best experiences ever.
Week Two – We moved to a place called Esslen Park. Esslen Park is a neighborhood and we stayed in the Hostel that some of the students of the high school stayed in. We had our own block, but all of the furnishings had been stolen so we had no beds, no shelves and not much else. There was one sink for kitchen use that never drained and one large bathroom. We made a schedule for the bathroom. The upstairs had no plumbing as that had been stolen as well so we had to squeeze all 30-some of us into the downstairs section. It was quite a challenge but God was gracious and we made it work. We had about 6 bedrooms, a ‘dinning’ room and a ‘kitchen’ room.
For the first two weeks, however, we did have use of the school kitchen/dinning room and another dorm. After cleaning the ENTIRE place, the students arrived for our first week of high school youth camp.
Week Two and Three – We had two consecutive weeks of high school youth camps. These were kids from the community and from various backgrounds. The first week was so much fun. I jumped right in as a counselor, grateful for multiple years of experience from church youth camps. The theme of the days went something like this:
Sunday – Arrival and introduction.
Monday – The Father Heart of God.
Tuesday - Outreach. We took the kids into the poor shanty towns across the street from where we stayed and prayed with people and played with the children.
Wednesday – Holy Spirit. We ended the day with an amazing time of practical prayer. Many kids were set free from past hurts and evils.
Thursday – Prayer/Intercession.
Friday – Closing and Praise Party.
It was amazing to see the transformation in the lives of the kids from the beginning of the week to the end.
At the end of the week we took a day trip to the town of Hermanus. Hermanus is one of the whale watching capitals of the world. Even though it was off-season, we saw a whale in the harbor. I have never seen a more beautiful place.
The second week of camp was much like the first, except in that most of our team got very sick. I was in bed for 3 days and missed connecting with the kids in my group. But God did just as much in those kids, if not more.
Week Four – This week Rhian and Jem left for England. They only had come for 3 weeks of outreach. It was hard to see them go as I had grown very close to them. We were done with the core of our youth ministry and now focused on the area known as Avian Park. This was where the outcasts of Worcester lived. The spirit in that area was one of hopelessness and despair.
We worked on a house belonging to a couple named Emily and Meshek. Emily started a day care for the children of Avian park when she found out that many of the parents would lock their children in the houses while they went to work or to drink. So she took the children into her home from 8am to 5pm. She taught them, bathed them, clothed them, fed them, played with them and loved them.
The guys on our team built a roof to cover the play area between the house and the out building. I led a painting project. It was so much fun to be in charge of something like that! I got to pick out the paint and work with Emily on picking out a design for each side of the house. It took us about 2 weeks to paint the whole thing.
We also did a lot of prayer ministry in Avian Park. We walked around the area with the locals on our team and talked to lots of people, made friends with many, visited many homes and had a hand in reviving the community there.
While part of our team worked on the roof and the painting, the other part of our team helped a family who’s house had burnt down. A few of our team cleaned the whole house (that was completely covered in soot) and really ministered to that family who had lost everything.
The other thing that happened this week was that Mr. Mouser, the man in charge of the Hostel we were staying in and a Muslim, asked us if his family could cook our team an authentic curry meal. It was an amazing 5-course meal. Around that time, Mr. Mouser asked us if we would put on a program for the kids who live in the Hostel. He knew we were a Christian group and even agreed to let us talk to the kids about the teachings of Jesus. J
Week Five – We hosted a church service for the children in the hostels. It was incredible. We had a room full of kids from the schools and kids from the camps who had brought their siblings. It went so well that some of the kids decided to take it over and continue to hold a church service there every week!
Chris left for England, as he also had only committed to 3 weeks of outreach with us. Beki joined our team at the same time that Chris left along with Myra, a leader from the Kings Lodge. We continued with the projects in Avian Park along with visiting some of the local schools. We had so much fun doing the school visits. We would put together a program with a drama, some testimonies and a short teaching about God. The best part about the school visits was seeing kids from the first weeks of camp and meeting their friends.
Week Six – Avian Park was still a thriving ministry area and the relationships we built there were growing. It was so much fun to see the positive transformation in the people’s lives. We continued to hand out food to those who needed it most. We visited more schools and had the opportunity to visit two special needs schools.
Rob, one of the DTS students and a pastor (who had been a pastor for 30 years) had done some years of work on the radio. Rob and some of the other DTS students had the opportunity to be on the local radio for about 4 weeks in a row! They were on the radio with some of the kids from the youth camps (who gave testimonies from the camps). It was so much fun to turn on the radio and hear our friends. J
Week Seven – This week we had the opportunity to interact with the King’s Kids (the youth from The King’s Lodge) who were in South Africa for 3 weeks. We attended an open-air service that the King’s Kids hosted in the Riverview Flats area. After the open-air, our team had the chance to walk around the area and pray with people. My team of 4 people was invited into one of the flats. I was able to pray for a lady who was having pains in her neck. She was healed! J
The last day we were scheduled to do ministry was a Sunday. Edward had met a pastor who invited him to preach in his church. We showed up at the church for the 5 o’clock service only to find that the pastor had forgotten and there was no service. But that did not stop us! We had our sound system and our instruments and our people, so we headed over to the cricket field in the middle of the area called Hex Park. We held our very own open-air church service! It was so much fun! At first we just had about 10 kids who joined us as we sang some songs, then some more as Edward began to speak on Discipleship. Then their parents came out and at the end of the service there were about 40 or 50 people gathered in the cold night (the sun had set).
Edward asked me to give a short testimony. I spoke for about 5 minutes about how God had gotten bigger for me while I was in Africa. Worcester is in a valley surrounded by beautiful mountains. I talked about how God is like the mountains. He is always there, protecting us, giving beauty to our lives and never changing yet always different. I said how sometimes, with God so close to us, we can become blind to Him. If you live with the mountains all around you, you forget they are there; you disregard their beauty. But if you come at your surroundings with fresh eyes, like someone seeing mountains for the first time, you see the magnificent splendor as you behold them. That is how God is. God is like the mountains. We mustn’t forget that He is there.
It was a fantastic ending to an amazing outreach. I couldn’t have asked for a better close. At the very end, after everyone’s gifts had been strengthened, tried and proved, they were brought together in perfection. I had the opportunity, that night, to pray with a lady named Wilma who had come out to join the service. I asked her what she would like prayer for. She replied, “I smoke, I drink, and I would like to give my life to Jesus”. So I prayed with her and she accepted Jesus into her life. It was wonderful because she embraced the challenges that come with full surrender. I was so honored to be able to pray with her. Praise Jesus. J
Over the whole 7 weeks in South Africa we had the opportunity to join with YWAM Worcester for their Base Worship and Intercession, every Monday and Wednesday. It was a much-needed time of community and refocusing. We made many friends at the YWAM base there. J
That open-air service was on a Sunday, on Monday our English team left for Goudini Spa. Erena (who led the African team and who had facilitated our trip) blessed us with 2 days to relax before we headed home. We had a few rooms, 3 to a room, and use of the Spa (you had to pay for everything but the mineral pool). It was a good time to sleep. The only thing I endeavored to try was the renowned mineral water pool heated by the hot springs. It was amazing. J
On Wednesday afternoon, our African team members came to say goodbye. We hugged, cried, ate ‘sandwiches’ with jelly and cheese, took pictures and left. In the 7 weeks I was in South Africa, I had been to the Cape Town airport 4 times - once on arrival, once to drop off Rhian and Jem, once to drop off Chris and departure. This was the strangest van ride ever to the airport. We were leaving. Leaving Africa.
The plane ride was as long as the first one and England was ridiculously sunny. (It had been raining in South Africa when we left and the days were substantially shorter as it was their winter). The first thing I noticed about England was the lack of trash on the ground and the delicious quality of the air. We were greeted at the Kings Lodge by all the staff that was still there (many had left for the summer). It was all so surreal.
There was one week of debrief for the DTS students, of which I was able to be a part of, and the week ended with the DTS graduation. What a night! Rhian and Jem were able to come up to join us for the evening! I had so much fun participating in the graduation, even though I was not a graduate myself. J At the end, I read part of an email I had received from Erena earlier that day –
“Wow! do we miss you guys!? BUT! the work is going on! Raylene (One of the students from our youth camps) is meeting with the hostelites (the kids living in the school hostel where we stayed) every Wednesday evening - I just heard about it last night, so I really would like to take a few of our team members to attend their meeting next week. You're so welcome to send messages then I can pass it on to them.
Yesterday Redgy and I went out to the farm where Patricia (one of the girls from our youth camps) lives - it is very far from town - way past Goudini Spa! It was an amazing time of ministry. We sat down with Patricia and her mom. It was as if their hearts were prepared, as if scales fell from their eyes (amazing what prayer does, don't you think?), and they immediately recognized the loopholes in their family relationships. It was as if the enemy was exposed without a fight. They both saw how their heart-attitudes must change to come in line with God's standard.
Tomorrow night is a big night for us. We're having our Youth Concert in the Dutch Reform Church on Church Square. We're excited about this! Been praying with the YWAM intercession group yesterday morning - Redgy, Michelle and Vivian joined me. It was awesome! Jennifer, you'll be glad to know that you sowed a seed in my heart when you suggested about the drama! The YWAM DTS have taken on the challenge. I spoke to their leadership Monday, and they're going to do a drama tomorrow night to show the youth of our town what happened at the Pardon Cafè 150 years ago! (150 years ago in the center of Worcester there was a revival led by Andrew Murray and a local girl. It was a very profound thing and is world renown.) I can't wait to see it. We also have a school boy of Montana who will be singing a song God put in his heart for the youth - and accompanying himself by piano. Don't you just wish you were here? Our radio friend, Simon, will also be performing.”
I left the Kings Lodge at 6:45am on Saturday for my flight at 8:45am. As I sat in the airport waiting for my first flight, a flight attendant approached me. “Are you flying alone?” she asked me, “Yes, I am”, I replied. I thought she was going to ask to search my bag, but instead she said, “We would like to randomly select you for a free upgrade to first class”. I was stunned. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I gladly took the seat for the 8-hour flight. The seat was amazing and the blanket was thick. After we took off I took that blanket, put it over my head, and had a good cry. What a sight I must have been.
I knew that God had done nothing short of a miracle in this journey I was on. I could never thank Him for what He had done and what He was doing. And I knew that He had GREAT plans for me back home, I was sure of that. I knew I was covered in His blessing just as much as I was covered in that blanket, just as much as those beautiful mountains in Worcester had surrounded me and just as surely as the fields of Ohio would welcome me home. I missed my dear friends that I left behind in various countries, my dear friends whom I did not know if I would ever see again. But that’s what memories and Heaven are for, right? J
As the plane descended over Columbus, well, I don’t know if I can begin to describe the feeling of seeing familiar fields, downtown, landmarks… home. I could feel the tears building up again. I made my way to the gate where Mom and Susan were waiting for me. I didn’t know what life would be like now that I was back. I had changed and grown, as did Mom and Susan. But as I rounded that corner and saw them I burst into tears. We melted into a blob, the three of us, and just cried together. I was home.
What an incredible journey. What an amazing life this is. I wish I could do it justice by describing it to you. J Even though this has been very long (thank you for reading it!!!) I left out many stories that I could tell, as I’m sure you know. I am more than grateful to that Lord, to my family, and to all who prayed for me and supported my financially. Thank you!!!! And I know that the journey is not over! Praise the Lord, oh my soul.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Update Coming Soon!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Faceless
9/2/08
Faceless.
As I live today, breathing, stretching, striving, I feel faceless. I am faceless. I have no desire to promote myself. Perhaps it has at its root a desire to hide in order to be found. Or perhaps it -this facelessness- is the amalgamation of my body, my soul, into that of Christ and the Church. I love the quote by the unnamed gospel preacher that says “We’ve got to unite ourselves as one body. Because Jesus is coming back, and He’s coming for a Bride, not a harem.”
In the words of Jesus, I must lose my life in order to truly find it. That seems to be the case today.
"We must release our grip on people and cling to Jesus. We must be enraptured by the Holy One so that we can love people in a holy way."
To be faceless is the best way to be a servant. To be faceless is the only way to love. For when we allow ourselves to dip into the pure well if life that is the Love of Christ and the Church we will slowly see our reflection fade away. At first it is comforting to lean over the side of the pool and see your reflection in the water, an assurance that you are part of that body. However, it is only when you jump into the pool that you truly enter in, and when you do, the ripples will blur any reflection of singularity and ones former self.
I rejoice in facelessness! What peace, what joy it brings! To live this life as a faceless one, and serve a faceless King.
Monday, September 21, 2009
When People Make You Human
Monday, September 14, 2009
New Poem
I'm trekking down the same road, trudging through the same mud
My bones grow tired, my boots rub thin, pacing through this life I'm in
Keep moving forward, it can't be far, holding Hope's hand in darkest hour
Hope pulls me forward, strengthens me on, stretching me further to what lies beyond
I am alone, companions fade from my side, save for Your Love, in which I abide
Strengthened by fruits that grow on Your vine, I choose not to grumble, complain or to whine
Hope draws me deeper, his left hand I hold, his right hand is grasping the Love makes me bold
With boldness anew, I look up to see, persevering this suffering breeds character in me
Love draws Hope deeper, and thereby draws me, further and further into this sea
I think I might drown, it is too far ahead, but Love keeps me floating, won't leave me for dead
Tossed about by looming waves, Hope gives me strength to steady my gaze
And that's where you'll find me, holding Hope's left hand, trudging through darkness, through mud and through sand
I don't grasp for Hope's right, for Love's claim is there, I am content to be left here.
---
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:1-5
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Book List
- Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliott (I'm re-reading it now. VERY challenging and good. Short chapters, fun easy to read)
- Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge (excellent for understanding women, I learned a few things from it myself...)
- The Shack by William Young (WOW. WOW. Just WOW. A must read.)
- Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven But Nobody Wants to Die by David Crowder (Excellent book about life and grief. The most creatively written book I have ever read. It's just interesting to look at. :))
- Blessed Child by Ted Dekker (Woah. Amazing book. Fast paced, easy read, VERY powerful. About the Kingdom of God, purity of heart and the power of love and faith.)
- Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller (I <3>
- Searching for God Knows What by Don Miller (again, excellent writer. First couple of chapters are a bit dry but it picks up.)
- Through Painted Deserts by Don Miller (So basically anything by Miller I would suggest. He has a new book coming out soon! I can't wait! And he has a book about growing up as a boy, which I haven't read but would look into if I were a guy... lol This one (TPD) is very fun and powerful to read. It's about leaving home and the adventures that follow)
- The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis (Wonderful analogy about heaven and earth and the hell that is in between. This book contains Lewis' famous 'devil/dragon on your shoulder' scene. Also, George MacDonald is a character in heaven. :P)
- Lilith by George MacDonald (One of my favorite books of all time. A beautiful novel about life and truth and what happens to Adam [yeah, like Adam and Eve]. There are so many twists and turns in this book I won't even try to give you the story line. Just read it. It's worth it. :))
- The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne (a little extreme, ok very extreme, at some points, but overall the message of this book is "Go and live boldly like Jesus and discard the chains of 'religion' that tie you down". Good book, full of life stories that is fun to read.)
- A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren (This book really impacted me. It talks about the different main denominations, where they came from and what they believe. The stories in this book are powerful and really changed the way I look at different parts of faith.)
- How to be a Christian in a Brave New World by Dr. Nigel Cameron and Joni Ereckson Tada (This book is about bio-ethics. Very, very powerful book. If you want to be in any sort of public area of influence, this is a must read)
- Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis (Very strange, very interesting book based on a myth. The end is really heroic and is the reason I like the verse 2 Corinthians 3:18, which is the verse for my women's group.)
- Also, anything by Eric and or Leslie Ludy. Some of my fav authors too. I've read When God Writes Your Love Story and When Dreams Come True. I want to read more of their stuff. Such good authors with great and powerful stories. :)
- This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness by Frank Perettii (Both about spiritual warfare. Both of them together are like 400-500 pages :/ )
- Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell (about art and suffering. I'm super excited about this one.)
- Sex God by Rob Bell (hmm guess what that's about... sex and God. lol)
- Jesus Wants to Save the Christians by Rob Bell (Kinda based on what Ghandi said "I like your Jesus but I hate your christians, they look nothing like their Jesus".)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
8 Steps to a successful blog
- Write stuff in said blog
- Update said blog often
- Have a topic to write about in said blog
- Have a topic to write about in said blog that is other than your boring life
- Understanding that your life IS boring and no one wants to know what you had for dinner or where you are going on Saturday
- Be funny
- If the author of said blog cannot be funny, said author of said blog should NOT *try* to be funny but should stick with serious thought provoking posts
- If said author of said blog cannot be funny or thought provoking, said author should buy a journal and delete said blog
Friday, August 14, 2009
South Africa, I love thee...
Sunday, June 21, 2009
What it means
Rescuing Johnny
By Anna Jefferis
8/18/06
As inspired by two dreams
I walked up to the edge of the crowd. Looking down into the flood of people I could see the arena and the platform on which the leaders and officials were standing to make an announcement. At the back of the group of leaders was the queen. She was clothed in black, red and pale grey like a spider, her crown coming down over her face and neck like a dark tattoo. The crowd was murmuring about the "games" that were to begin. The sacred games that were held every year.
The queen stood up and made her way to the front of the stage. The crowd hushed. Those who did not notice and were still talking were summoned to the back of the arena and were taken away. The queen called for those who wished to be sacrificed in the name of the games - sacrificed to society. There were 5 teams. Orange, blue, green, yellow and purple. The leaders called for people from the crowd to represent each team. At least 15 people to each team. 150 came. I watched in horror as people from all over the crowd robotically stood up, raising their hands to join the games. Didn't they know what they were doing? I thought. They were being called to the slaughter by their leaders. And they are going.
I slowly made my way to the edge of the arena to watch what was happening. The arena was huge and filled with water. An enormous pool 80 feet deep and 1/4 of a mile across.
The teams had been formed. A little girl I had met earlier that day was in the orange team. My mouth dropped open as I saw that there were so many young children, possibly that couldn't even swim.
They all streamed passed the officials and I got a glimpse of the deeper plot. The officials were giving each person a shot in the arm with a serum as they gave them their colored armband. It was a drug. It was despair.
After everyone had gotten their armband and shot they walked into the pool and were ordered to swim laps around it. Many were gone after stepping in the pool because they couldn't even swim. They had been given no choice led to their death by society. I shook as I watched at the edge of the pool. I had found one of my friends, an outsider like me from this cannibalistic society. We stood there leaning over the arena wall watching, holding our breath, trying to figure this thing out. All of the sudden I looked to see the thousands of people that had started the games had been dwindled down to a mere one hundred. Where did they all go?! I saw them just a minute ago. "They are at the bottom of the pool", my friend replied. "They are making them swim 'till they drown. The serum they gave them takes away their strength."
The few swimmers that were left were throwing things out of the pool to make room to swim. Bodies were being franticly hurled over the side of the arena as they swimmers tried to keep their heads above water. A stick hit my head. I looked to see who had thrown it. I recognized the boy. He had played for a volleyball team I was once on. He had a glass eye. He was an outcast, a nobody. His name was Johnny and he was no more than 9 years old. He smiled when he saw me and swam over to the side of the pool. "It's a drug they gave us", he said with a faint and exhausted smile, "it will be over soon". The hot tears rushed to my eyes. How could this happen. Who could do such a thing to this little boy I knew? "You're going to be ok", I said over my tears, "Let's get you out of there". My friend and I pulled him out of the pool and I held him up. "I have to do this", Johnny said. "No you don't" I returned, "This is wrong. You'll be ok now." I put my arms around him and prayed for him. I knew the drug was getting to him and that he wouldn't last long. "Dear God, take this son of Yours and hold his soul in Your hand. Give him peace. Keep him safe. And let him fear no more." I could barely talk I was crying so hard now. Johnny was so weak. He was so innocent. I pushed him up into the stands and held him, telling him everything would be ok. "I have to go back. Come on Mommy." He called me Mommy! Oh! He called me Mommy. He must not have a Mommy. I let the tears fall on his back as I held him close. He held my finger in his little hand. I didn't think there was anything to do but to hold him and pray for him 'till the drug took full effect and he was gone. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a syringe. It was bright and had been hidden in the corner. It shown like the sun on ice. It was the antidote to the drug of despair that society had given; it was "The Knowledge of Love". I grabbed it and gave it to Johnny. He had fallen asleep in my lap. At least I was praying he was just sleeping. Yes I could feel him breathing. I gave him the antidote and felt him breath deeply. A look of calm and peace came over his face. He was safe.
I looked back out into the arena and saw so many more faces I recognized. The cashier at Wal-mart. The mechanic. The lady across the street. The greeter at church. The kid that sits in the corner every week at youth group that no on ever talks to. The kid that picked on me in phys. ed. when I was in elementary school. The people that everyone recognizes but never speaks to. The people that we ignore. The misfits and odd balls. The uncool, the broken.
The least of these. I wept because I knew know what was going on. The game, these sacred games of society was the way that they got rid of the unwanted. The ritualistic sacrificing of human lives for the comfort of a few. They were told that they were not loved and thus they could afford to be in the games. But really that was not true. They were valuable. If it weren't for the forgotten ones the games would not go on.
All these people needed was the knowledge that they were loved. That someone knows their name and that they are not forgotten. I knew I couldn't rescue them all, but I knew I had to love those that were left swimming around the arena, playing in the games of society - their lives on the line. God had showed me how to rescue Johnny; I had to love the others too. It was not a choice. If I did not, who knows if anyone else would. Perhaps I was the only one left in this world that knew their names. Their very lives were on the line. I was scared but I made my way back through the crowd. Oh look I know her.....
We are all worth so much. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith" - 1 Peter 5:7-9a
Satan wishes us all dead. He will do whatever it takes to pull us down into despair and crush us under his fist. Never let him tell you that you are worthless. Only the opposite is true. Be on your guard. You life is on the line. Run to God and hide your life in His hands, it will be safe there.
"Then the just and upright will answer Him, Lord, when did we see You hungry and gave You food, or thirsty and gave You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger and welcomed and entertained You, or naked and clothed You? And when did we see You sick or in prison and came to visit You? And the King will reply to them, Truly I tell you, in so far as you did it for one of the least [[k]in the estimation of men] of these My brethren, you did it for Me." - Matthew 25:37-40
"And He will reply to them, Solemnly I declare to you, in so far as you failed to do it for the least [[m]in the estimation of men] of these, you failed to do it for Me." - Matthew 25:45
"And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."" - Luke 22:19
Jesus talks about doing for the least of these. Why did he do that? Because He was one of the least of these. He was an outcast, an oddball. He asked during the last supper that we "remember me." It breaks my heart to think that we could forget Christ. But I do all the time. Remember Jesus. Remember the least of these.